“O victory in Jesus, my Savior forever He sought me and bought me, with His redeeming blood, He loved me ere I knew Him, and all my love is due Him He plunged me to victory, beneath the cleansing flood.” – Eugene Bartlett
This one will probably be a piece in my final manuscript, but for now, I offer it to you as an encouragement to never, ever give up on what Jesus can do in your life...even if it is taking longer than you think it should.
When I think of victory, I usually envision a happy ending, celebration and the joy of completion. Everything needed for eternity, the life after death, forever with God, because of what Jesus did on the cross. Truly, something I celebrate often! Today, I want to share another kind of victory. It’s the kind that doesn’t necessarily produce a party or a parade. It isn’t won in a day, in a week, month or possibly even years. It’s won over time.
I remember the moment when I realized that I was walking in victory. Another tough week in a long line of tough years. Something was different though. Not in the circumstances like I had begged for too many times, but rather, in me. I was finally different. The anger I used to choose toward God or others, was like a bitter taste in my mouth. I didn’t want it anymore, in fact, it felt almost foreign for the first time ever. I was still tired; but I wasn’t angry. I could pray with freedom, ask for mercy, but I wasn’t hardened in my heart like I had been for so long. I was hopeful that things could change for the better, but I was alright if they didn’t. This was the moment that I claimed a new kind of victory in Jesus. Of course, He’s been working in me and through me for a long time. He has suffered long with me.
I have wondered often about the Kind of Love that doesn’t
give up on a kind of person like me.
I was the one who fought hard for the wrong things, gave the enemy too much ground in my mind, and thus, my life. Anxiety and fear ruled the place of peace and faith. Yeah, I’ve walked through the fires for a while. I needed to. I had to come to terms with His sovereignty. I had to lay down my attitude, my entitlement, and even my desires. I delayed the process in many ways, hindering His work with my selfish refrains. Sometimes I wrestled to take things back that I had already given up, justifying my unhealthy obsession for my way instead of His.
The victory moment was like a gentle flood of relief. See, I had prayed a really hard prayer, a few years back. It was a specific request that I knew I needed, but didn’t really want.
“Lord, please change me before You change my circumstances.”
I know…it was like praying for patience. I knew it was going to delay my hearts desires, my souls longing for better things, me-defined better things. But I had to remind myself again that it’s in the wilderness, not the promised land, where God reckons with my flesh. It’s where He reminds me that He is all I need. My bread from heaven, where I’m aware that He is more than enough. I prayed this prayer at a time when I was too desperate for the earthly trials to turn over to blessing. When I was still too offended with how God was writing the story for His glory, not mine. Too discontent with hard upon hard, or just too tired of it all. I still had a long way to go in my learning to surrender and learning to be okay with “God’s ways being higher than our ways…His thoughts higher than our thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)
Victory came in like a deep breath that I hadn’t been able to take in a long time. It was the realization that, though things were hard, I had already walked through things that I never thought I could make it through. But there I was, because of Jesus, I did make it through. Suddenly the weight of it all didn’t feel as heavy as it once did. Maybe time can heal some wounds, or maybe God is just the healer of all wounds, while He holds time in His hands.
I wanted to give up so many times, and if I’m honest, some days I still have to decide not to. This victory isn’t an arrival to perfection, but maybe more like completing a thought. A period in a sentence or the end of a paragraph. It’s not over, because this kind of victory is really just an opportunity to keep going, the kind that requires a choice, a daily decision, might I say, a daily surrender, to the freedom that Christ gave to us. The opportunity is the strength we need to “keep on keeping on”, to remember;
“you can’t stop here, you can’t stop now, don’t you doubt Me child, for this isn’t the end of the story, if it was, you’d be wrapped in My glory…”
Oh, what a day, what a glorious day that will be!
"Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage." [Galatians 5:1]
This victory is the freedom that makes us able. Able to do things that seemed impossible at one time. Things like gratitude instead of grumbling. Praise instead of discouragement. Forgiveness instead of bitterness. Freedom to love those who are hard to love, and pray for those who refuse to stay. It’s the ability to see Him walking through the fires with us. It’s recognizing His goodness when things don’t look good at all. The victory in Jesus doesn’t stop at the cross or the grave because he conquered that cross and that grave! His work was finished, but His story isn’t over. He’s still writing victories in you and in me for His glory, for eternity.
Maybe you’re feeling like you’re lost in the battle today. Maybe a bit forgotten or maybe you’re just giving up. I’ve been there, I get it, but until Christ comes back or takes us home, this war-torn life doesn’t get to claim us, because we’ve already been claimed by our God. Jesus told us how it ends...so take a nap, take a deep breath, drink some coffee, stay in His word and stay on your knees until you see His victory.
"…he who endures to the end shall be saved." [Matthew 24:13]
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