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So Abram said to Sarai, ‘Indeed your maid is in your hand; do to her as you please.’ And when Sarai dealt harshly with her (Hagar), she fled from her presence. Now the Angel of the LORD found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, by the spring on the way to Shur. And He said, ‘Hagar, Sarai's maid, where have you come from, and where are you going?’ She said, ‘I am fleeing from the presence of my mistress Sarai.’ The Angel of the LORD said to her, ‘Return to your mistress, and submit yourself under her hand.’ Then the Angel of the LORD said to her, I will multiply your descendants exceedingly, so that they shall not be counted for multitude.’ And the Angel of the LORD said to her: Behold, you are with child, and you shall bear a son. You shall call his name Ishmael, because the LORD has heard your affliction…Then she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees; for she said, "Have I also here seen Him who sees me?" Therefore the well was called Beer Lahai Roi…” [Genesis 16:6-14b NKJV]
All of the masquerades are old, the “I’m fine’s” and “everything's good” eventually run out and we’re left wondering where to go from here. We come to realize that we can’t outrun what’s inside. The effect of that pain has you gripped with fear, paralyzed you with apathy, or you’re wandering in circles because you won’t admit what’s really going on. Maybe you’re running from what you don’t think you can survive. You know what it is, or who it is, when you’re honest. Disappointment, broken dreams or other broken things…rejected by those who said they would love you, wounded by those who promised to protect you, hurting, lost…feeling alone. How desperate do we need to get before we will see the One who sees us. He’s been there all along. What’s it going to take to acknowledge Him right there in the middle of all of that pain? When will we acknowledge that “alone” is a lie that the enemy tells us, to hide the choice that we’re making to keep our eyes inward instead of upward? Oh, how desperately we need to look up and see the One who sees it all, and sees the way out.
Spoiler, He’s the only way out. (John 14:6)
While we’re planning to run away or run in circles, He’s been there calling us to run to Him. While we thought we could just escape that painful place, He’s been creating for us a healing space. We can’t outrun our thirst for the only One who will satisfy at first and at last, since He’s the beginning and the end. (Revelation 22:13)
He’s waiting for us to stop long enough to take a drink from the well that never runs dry. (John 4:14) The well of everlasting life cupped with overwhelming love that heals the caverned places in our hearts. Don’t miss the power here, the power that changes the day, the year, the life; the same God that satisfies your thirst, is the God who saw you then and He sees you now, and He has been calling you to see Him in this place. He knows it all, and he has a way for you here, He has a place prepared for you there, and in all this in-between He’s the promise to get you through, even though getting through might mean being brave and being willing and being present in His presence.
Accept what isn't anymore, and believe for the
redeeming of all that's been lost along the way.
This place you’re in may not be the end of anything, but maybe just the beginning. The beginning of a holy brave, a holy step closer to the Father’s heart even if it’s not going to change anything else except yourself. Maybe His answer to "go back" or "keep going" has your heart screaming, "I can’t" or "I won’t". Sometimes we have to take all of our exhaustion to the cross and remember that if He can defeat death, He will defeat this weariness in us too.
When you choose to go with Him, you’re going different now, strengthened now, and never, ever alone now. When you find yourself standing at Beer Lahai Roi (the well of the One who Lives and Sees), look up and see Him. He’s the very Air you breathe (Genesis 2:7), so breathe in slow and exhale praise, renaming the place from defeat to victory. Be ready to receive what you needed all along. Him.
We don’t camp at the well, Loved One, we draw to sustain in the every day, even If it’s a really, really hard day. We draw to go back to the place He told us to, or keep going on the journey. We draw in humility, knowing we can't continue without Him. We draw and then carry the Water with us as we go, so every sip we take is an act of faith, where we are sustained and He is glorified. Press on in this hard place and you will experience a grace that turns the hard place into a holy place.
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