As winter settles in for the earth's long nap, we’re given new opportunities to pause. In the pause we hear a kind of silence, a kind understood by a snow-covered forest, and we can finally hear the sound of our own thoughts. We’re told this is what we need. It sounds idyllic, doesn’t it? To breathe a little deeper, a little easier, to decompress the latest stress or catch up on some much-needed rest. When it comes down to it, though, there are a few people in a few life seasons right now who find the silence deafening. The tones of reality clash with the tones of expectation and we dread the silence and pause out of fear of facing what may really be there. Deep down, buried beneath the chaos, are things we don’t really want to hear. Things, maybe, we know shouldn’t be there or maybe things that leave us feeling helpless or hopeless. We don’t really know how they got there or how to get rid of them; or we do, but we don’t want to. Things like disappointment, discouragement, doubt, pain, sadness, fear, anxiety, anger, offenses, bitterness, brokenness, restlessness, loneliness…need I go on?
Maybe it’s been quite a while since you’ve been down that silent road and you believe you’re hidden now. Hidden in a way that you don’t have to deal, because no one really sees what you’ve sealed. No one needs to know what your struggle is. No one needs another needy person clinging tight or sucking them dry. This is the story we tell ourselves anyway, right? If I forget and they forget, maybe God will forget too? Maybe we think if we hide, we won’t be found out. Maybe if we hide, we’ll never have to face the pride. Pride, after all, gives us the ability to lock away what was never meant to stay. It's been a problem since the fall, never meant to be a badge of honor, so why do we still think it’s okay? “Then the LORD God called to Adam and said to him, "Where are you?" So, he said, "I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself." Hiding from the truth is a lie, even if the truth is something has to change, even if maybe we have to change.
We ignore what we don’t want to admit.
We know that somehow the silence exposes what we think should stay in the dark. We glance over the words, "Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience. For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account." [Hebrews 4:11-13 NKJV]
"I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish." [Galatians 5:16-17 NKJV]
When did we stop acknowledging the
struggle with our humanity is real?
Somehow in the pursuit of holy, we just plain forgot we are still human. Humanity beckons and pulls daily, whether we acknowledge it or not. When we’re hungry, we eat, right? Did you shame yourself for being hungry today or for being thirsty, or for being tired? So why do we take these other human things, these little bit deeper things, and instead of facing them, we shame ourselves for them or just ignore them? As if the struggle with our humanity has somehow become the sin we’re taught to avoid. We’ve been told for so long to crucify our flesh with its passions and desires (Galations 5:24) and yet instead we leave the flesh alone (our sin nature) and we crucify our humanity by hiding behind pride that keeps our sin nature ruling like a silent dictator.
We suffer continually, but do we ever recover?
How can we help each other when we’re limping our way through life? How did weakness become a plague? Do we really believe that we can avoid weakness by a façade of strength, or was it just to avoid letting anyone else know what our weaknesses are? I am puzzled when I see Christians struggling silently, as if the struggle itself is the sin, not the hiding from the struggle.
How did we miss this? “…if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it." [1 Corinthians 12:26 NKJV]
The justification and the outcome for the idea that we can avoid dealing with what we so desire to hide, doesn’t align with scripture, and yet I see this preached by example more often than the gospel we claim to believe.
"Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." [Hebrews 4:14-16 NKJV]
Jesus acknowledged his humanity. Think about it; He was tired, He was hungry, He wept…true, He wasn’t harboring sin, but maybe He knew the key to not becoming captive to sin was to acknowledge the struggle before His Father and even His friends.
Maybe He knew we had to tell the struggle the truth.
"And He said, "Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will." Then He came and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, "Simon, are you sleeping? Could you not watch one hour? "Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."" [Mark 14:36-38 NKJV]
Yes, the flesh is weak. It’s weak even when you hide it behind pride though, when you hide it behind sin, when you hide it from God…How can we claim to know the Father and claim to know Christ and claim to read our bibles when we can’t claim the truth that we are weak, but He is strong. Don't we know He's strong enough to handle our struggles? "Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." [2 Corinthians 12:8-10 NKJV]
Maybe a sign of strength is the
ability to acknowledge weaknesses.
Have we considered that maybe if we lay aside our pride and admit the struggles we are having, no matter how messy or how scary, that maybe healing and strength and freedom and wisdom are waiting for us in the light? Carried in the heart of our Father who desires to comfort us through the Holy Spirit? Have we considered that the struggles hiding deep are actually eating away at our freedom and our rest and our ministry to one another?
Maybe the longer we hide, the longer the enemy has to lie. Maybe this whole idea of pride was meant to keep us from being fully alive in Christ. It is for freedom that Christ set us free (Galations 5:1) and we were once in darkness but now we are light in the Lord (Ephesians 5:8). If we choose to remain hidden to the fact that we are weak, that the struggles we have are part of living in this fallen world with this fallen flesh, then we need to question if we really are children of the light. The light represents truth and the truth is we need Christ daily and we need each other.
For all the years I hid, thinking I was protecting myself, I realize now were just long delays in my faith. My Father was asking, “where are you?” And I was responding, “I was afraid, so I hid.”
I think we need to get a little silent inside, to acknowledge the hard and the pride, to exchange the darkness for the light, and to give a little grace, because it’s grace that reminds us we are free to struggle, just not free to sin.
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